Chapter 4
Not all Heroes are Famous
My home
My wife Barb and I live in an over-55 community where there are no fences separating mostly connected houses and yards. The community is large but close-knit and we are blessed to have many available activities to help foster our feelings of togetherness such as community-owned tennis, paddleball and pickleball courts, golf, an Olympic-sized swimming pool, a community library, a fully equipped health/fitness club and I can’t leave out the Saturday night dances. People live here to be part of a greater group and enjoy the companionship of like-minded neighbors to avoid spending their twilight years alone.
A most appreciative audience
As a professional musician I have always been used to a regular practice regimen and still maintain one these days. At this point in my life, I am grateful to have concerts to practice for. Sometimes these ‘concerts’ take the form of hospital visits, memorials or in just a few weeks at the time of this writing, Kol Nidre, (at our local Temple Ner Ami) which is part of the beginning of the service on the eve of Yom Kippur, our Day of Atonement.
Sometimes while practicing, I allow myself to spontaneously drift into almost forgotten, sweet melodies that I have performed and loved in years past by composers such as Irving Berlin, Fritz Kreisler and Johann Strauss. I am entertaining myself and hopefully those within earshot. From time to time a couple of residents named Gwen and Ben, in keeping with the close-knit nature of our community, would stop to listen from outside my window while on their walk and politely make requests for some of their favorite tunes from many decades past. I was happy to oblige them at the time and because this was during Covid I became inspired to perform open-air concerts, which I performed from our porch in the back of our house for all the neighbors to hear. The expanse of green grass was full of colorful blankets with residents enjoying the music, at a distance from one another but at the same time, together.
Introduced to Hank
At some point during our burgeoning friendship, Gwen mentioned to me that her father, Hank, was living out the remainder of his life in a local facility for assisted living care called Aasta Assisting Care Home in Camarillo, CA.
Gwen spoke with such love about her father. In high school Hank lettered in basketball and baseball and was offered a tryout by the Chicago Cubs. He entered the US Navy during WWII and served aboard the USS Hanna, a destroyer escort in the South Pacific where he participated in Operation Crossroads, and eventually after the war was honorably discharged.
Gwen described her father as a generous, religious, loving person who dedicated his life taking care of his family. Gwen also mentioned that her father had a truly great and abiding love for classical music. In fact, he played the clarinet for several years growing up.
Gwen’s dad married the love of his life, Anne Shirley MacDonald, and in 1953 moved his family from Chicago to Glendale, CA. A few years later Hank started his own business in Ventura, CA and he spent his last working years as a corrections officer and director of the carpenter shop at the county prison for the Ventura Sheriff’s Department. When Anne passed away, Hank moved to Dalonegha, GA to live with family prior to his final seven years of assisted living in Camarillo, CA.
Gwen told me that her father was a devout Catholic and the sort of man that only had good things to say about others.
A most appreciative audience
In the few times that I visited her dad we built a friendship. I asked Hank about his life and he was always so humble, always more comfortable talking about someone else, especially his children who he was so proud of. When I did play for Hank, his eyes would sparkle. In fact, I am not sure I ever played for anyone who enjoyed music more. He seemed quickly enraptured by every piece I played.
Thinking about all Hank had done in his life for his family and friends, I felt honored to play a role in comforting this man who had protected, provided for and worked so hard to make everyone feel loved and safe.
Gwen told me that her precious father did not have long to live. On my last visit, Hank seemed a little more subdued than usual but still very much involved emotionally with the music I was providing. One piece led to another as I was so happy to ease some of Hank’s discomfort as he neared the end of his life. By the time I was coming to the end of the beautiful “Ave Maria” of Franz Schubert, perhaps his very favorite piece, his eyes were closed, a faint smile appeared and he fell into what seemed like a deep sleep.
Here was this man, worshipped like a king by his family, in this ordinary hospital bed in a room that could have been for anyone, yet it was here, in room 201 at the Aasta Assisting Care Home that was to be Hank’s final address before he passed away just days later, on Labor Day, September 2, 2024. It didn’t matter where he was because his daughter Gwen DeSantis was by his side and many of the rest of his family were near. Hank loved his family and they loved him very much in return.
Henry Emil Schmalen III and his beloved wife, Anne Shirley MacDonald had 7 children, 17 grandchildren and numerous great grandchildren and great-great grandchildren.
Rest in peace, Hank.
