How many of you know what March 21st is? Turns out that it is National Single Parent’s Day. Don’t worry, I also did not know.
In my opinion, given the years I had raising my daughter, Laura, as a single parent, celebrating Single Parent’s Day is a big deal.
I am so grateful for every day that I was able to spend with my daughter when she was growing up. I fought legally to retain custody of Laura, and was lucky enough to avoid a legal battle with her mother, Heidi. Instead, we were able to come to an arrangement that put Laura in my care – from Laura’s Kindergarden years at “The Niche” in Seattle, until she finished sixth grade in Brooklyn at PS 29. I loved the years Laura and I had together.
Somehow, in caring for Laura I was more grounded in also taking care of myself. Becoming more careful with money and making sure to provide love and support for my daughter on a daily basis provided me with a real framework to also take cake care of myself.
Leaving Seattle during the summer of 1986, our first home in New York City was with Cousins Allen and Avima, in their apartment by Columbia University. Each day I looked for and eventually found an apartment in a busy, yet very colorful and even pleasant neighborhood in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn. This was near a great elementary school where Laura’s friends’ names were Sameep, Iqbal, Jazz, as well as Chloe, Emily and Rebecca. I loved that Laura’s school was like the United Nations. I also liked very much being there, every day and night for my daughter.
I remember her birthday parties; sleep-overs really where Laura invited several of her friends over with their their sleeping bags. Late at night it was so cute to have bundles of blankets spread all over her bedroom floor and I can still hear them all giggling the night away.
Each year, in coordination with her teacher, I remember surprising Laura when it was her birthday. At some point during a school day, I used to just show up and suddenly burst into her classroom with a birthday cake, enough for all, as we sang Happy Birthday! Other times I also remember freezing with the other parents standing outside by the skating rink watching our children ice skate together.
During the time Laura was with me, those six years in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn, I felt needed. Caring for her gave me a purpose, a direction in my own life.
I am eternally grateful to my family; Cousins Allen and Avima, for providing a home for Laura and me when we first arrived in New York City, as well as my Aunt Sylvia who was able and willing to take Laura in during those evenings when I had a rehearsal or performance. My parents also played a key role in our lives, visiting us on occasion from Los Angeles to help out when needed.
Looking back on my almost 76 years on this planet I have come to the conclusion that there are not too many moments of satisfaction more fulfilling than making the best of a challenging situation as a single parent and helping my child not just subsist and have an ok life, but to thrive.
I love re-reading parts of my book, From Cab Driver to Carnegie Hall. A few of the chapters detail my time with Laura in Brooklyn. Many experiences still bring a tear to my eye, and I will never be anything but grateful for her presence in my life.
Happy Single Parent’s Day. My very best wishes and respect are with each of you who make a difference in your child’s life every day and every night.
David Singer
David Singer, Grammy Award-Winning Professional Musician for 55 years
Author of “From Cab Driver to Carnegie Hall“
www.singerclarinet.com
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